"Don't you keep up with current events? We're all completely fucked."

This evening I found myself watching the James Cameron classic Aliens, starring Sigourney Weaver, and featuring such luminaries as Paul Reiser before he was mad about Helen Hunt, and Bill Paxton before he had more wives than he knew what to do with.

Its awesome. Obviously.

While I was watching the whipping tails and gnashing silver teeth (dripping with, according to Mark Kermode in his new book, loads and loads of sex lube and KY because it makes the monsters scarier) it struck me how exciting it was watching a group of people who by all rights were completely boned. Okay, so they were marines from the future with fire/bullet/grenade guns, and one of them was a woman who singlehandedly invented the character that Michelle Rodriguez plays in every single film she's ever featured in (who actually reminds me of Rufio from Pan), but seriously - weak wobbly pink human flesh with skeletons on the inside and a proclivity to yell instead of act when times get tough, against the insect/reptile/guy from AFI. They were completely hopeless against the aliens, and they knew it, though not at first. After the first and perhaps second encounters, every character knew that it wasn't about how many bugs you could nail, but survival. The odds were stacked against them and their eyes showed it.

So why was I loving every minute of it? Some might say it was because I'm a sadist and like make-believe people getting hurt (yawn). Others might point to my often dismal life-choices and say that I'm essentially a defeatist personality that just wants to be right all the time (ho hum). Though those aren't necessarily untrue, its a bit simplistic and I don't think really explains it at all. I think, that I like seeing humans getting an ego check. I like us to get our asses kicked and be told that "actually, you're still the bitch of so many things you don't even remember or know about yet". We've tamed the world to the point that we've essentially turned it into a fun park where we visit and its all a bit frightening, what with the flashing lights, upside down rollercoasters, and carnies looking to pick up, but we know secretly that its all going to be okay because we're strapped in and the company is regulated by official bodies and its all erected on flat land and... well we're safe so whatever happens its all fine.

So when something happens like an alien with a mouth inside its mouth inside its mouth literally penetrates your skull and brain like some brutal 'Caligula and Genghis Khan on Vacation in the Maldives' sex ritual, its like "WTF man? This isn't supposed to happen to me! I'm human!" This is evidenced by the Michelle Rodriguez character interrupting her briefing session about the aliens (what she needs to know) by saying "Just tell me where they are." and waving a pretend gun around (what she already knew). I sat in absolute and utter delight as Private Vasquez/Rodriguez was annhilated by an alien horde, all while she flexed her most surprised look. I cheered as she went down in flames and wished there were more of her to be arrogant and then receive a womping from the interstellar beasts.

I was loving all of it and revelling in the carnage. I was also scared because I tried to imagine being there and it was more than this jet-lagged soul could comprehend at that moment. Then something changed.

RIPLEY

What a badass mother! I wanted her to survive! You see, she knew from the start and she told them all but none of them listened and she was so nice and strangely attractive for a women of such statuesque proportions and maybe if I knew her I might ask her out and she might say yes and we'd go to a pub but nothing too upmarket because Ripley would not be down with that and maybe I would kiss Ripley and she would quote the movie in bed and... lets just say I wanted her to survive. I was on an irredeemable path of perversion and belief in the human spirit conquering all. I had reversed my opinion and decided that humans had good in them and shouldn't all die in some Malthusian event involving facehuggers and chests exploding.

But why? Because Ripley is amazing and all it takes is one good person to redeem everyone to me.

So there.